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 Wives/girlfriends attitudes towards guns
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LittleBill
Advanced Member

4375 Posts

Posted - July 03 2011 :  4:19:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
For a while now I’ve been noting with interest the various comments posters have made concerning the attitudes of their wives/girlfriends/significant-others concerning concealed carry and weapons in general. Reaching all the way from “she completely understands and carries a gun herself” to “she thinks I’m paranoid and a little bit crazy and can’t understand what all the fuss is about and rags me every time I want to buy another gun”.

In today’s American society women seem to be less pro-gun in general than men do; but of course like all generalizations there are numerous exceptions to this: plenty of anti-gun (‘girly’) men and gun-loving gals. Then there is the oft-observed phenomenon in the romantic sphere of ‘attraction of opposites’; meaning that sometimes we end up finding ourselves loving someone whose viewpoints (to say the least!) don’t all mesh with our own.

I’m in the somewhat odd position (feels odd, anyway!) of finding myself single (and ‘dating’) at age 60. When I meet someone new and tell her about myself, one of the first things I want her to know is my attitude towards firearms and self-defense; since that’s one aspect of me that is close to the ‘heart’ of who I am as a man, and which is never going to change. If she’s not down with her man carrying a gun, we’d never make it as a couple, and we might as well figure that out up front before wasting too much time getting to know each other. “I want you to know that if we do end up going out, I’ll be showing up to pick you up with a pistol in my pocket.”

So to all you guys out there who are happily married to a woman who understands your desire/duty to defend your loved ones, realize that you are blessed! Divorce sucks!

And finally: Happy Fourth to all of you! To me the viewpoints and individuals represented on this site reflect the spirit of American patriotism and values at their finest. God bless you all!

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point"--- C.S. Lewis

"There are some ideas so foolish that only an intellectual could believe them"--- George Orwell

Slow Is Smooth, Smooth Is Fast

Dov
Advanced Member

USA
2638 Posts

Posted - July 03 2011 :  5:26:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am divorced also, it is real crummy. It took me a few years to really get over it.

In my experience, with dating & friends, most women are okay with guns if you address their safety concerns.

One other thing is women in our society tend to get conditioned not to be aggressive, even when they should. Kids when playing, girls tend to get reprimanded much faster & harsher for "fighting" than boys. Next time your around some adults with their kids just observe the patterns of what the adults do when the kids fight or argue over something.

So the self defense side of things can be real problematic.

Now wives can be different issue entirely, since they feel they know you already. Is a different social dynamic from dating or friends. Often times, not always, there are power struggles in a relationship. And guns are power tools.

I suspect in any relationship, if safety concerns are addressed, unless their is a real phobia any "hate" or such against spouse owning or carrying guns is connected to dominance or fear. May be rational or irrational. Think like gender reverse abusive spouse control patterns.

Some people have valid phobias of guns. My own grandmother was almost shot by someone "cleaning" a gun in another room when she was early teen. She tends to have some discomfort with the idea of people carrying, because deep down she is afraid of that. But she didn't have problem with my grandfather hunting. Think maybe part of the reason grandpa bow hunted when he was younger was because she didn't like guns much.

Though in later years they both hunted in shotgun or rifle seasons. Fact is they often went hunting as couples with married friends of theirs after grandpa stopped using bow, though I suspect for both the men and ladies involved the social time was more important than getting a deer.

Edited by - Dov on July 03 2011 5:28:56 PM
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Evan
Administrator

34116 Posts

Posted - July 03 2011 :  6:12:14 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
my wife took all sorts of sports classes in college so she would have something in common with the man she married-except shooting.

She was never antigun just apathetic-when I started to write for the gun rags she realized we'd turned a corner and there was no going back. Her next stage was that I always carried multiple handguns and I could and would give her one. The 3rd stage is now where she has has her own ccw gun and an AR. I recently bought her a full size M&P 9MM. So we each have a snub, a hi cap pistol and an AR-15. Shes quite happy with this evolution and I think it's because of the present state of the world AND her grandkids.

She's knows there's a need for guns and she's quite compassionate and quite level headed at the same time. She may not be as skilled as most here and not an operator but she can have my back anytime.

"The greatest thing a Father can do for his children is to love their Mother."

Harold B. Lee

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Biggfoot44
Advanced Member

2233 Posts

Posted - July 08 2011 :  4:08:54 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Mrs Biggfoot had started shooting with her father (former USMC MP & lifelong shooter) at 8yo . Likewise he taught her SD .

Of course when first meeting her was armed too.

Edited by - Biggfoot44 on July 25 2011 11:51:36 AM
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Arvinator
Advanced Member

USA
5252 Posts

Posted - July 25 2011 :  12:20:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My wife and I use to go shooting together, and she use to shoot my Glock 9mm's and .22 pistols fairly well. Today, her health is crummy but is glad I carry guns and glad I take steps to prepare for uncertain future...

Be honest, fair, and always prepared...
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n/a
deleted

1270 Posts

Posted - July 25 2011 :  1:03:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Once she's been introduced to guns don't compete with her .I've seen many problems caused by the especially if the wife shoots better than the husband ! Don't choose a gun for her , let her choose her own gun.
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Malcolm
Advanced Member

USA
4008 Posts

Posted - July 25 2011 :  2:52:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When our daughters' were legally old enough to own their own handguns, I was surprised at what they chose for themselves. One chose a prime 2.5 inch S&W model 19 (P&R) .357 magnum for HER daily carry.
The other daughter snagged a brand new Glock 19, Dad's safe has never been the same.
BOTH girls normally out-shoot any male that they know or see at the ranges they frequent.Proud of them? Absolutely.
Now if I can get our son to be a bit more heads up gin wise...his wife however is far more hardcore about shooting than he is.(that's a good thing)

"The measure of a man's character, is how he treats someone who can do nothing for him." (unknown)
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Srigs
Advanced Member

USA
1061 Posts

Posted - July 26 2011 :  01:15:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My wife has 4 handguns of her own, carries daily, has a 22LR rifle and may even go upland bird hunting this year. So a great progression and even talk tactics now.

I'm a happy man.

Srigs
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wolfgang2000
Advanced Member

USA
3742 Posts

Posted - July 26 2011 :  12:01:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My wife is also a retired LEO. She is not "into" guns like I am, but has her own little collection. She in not above CLAIMING one of mine if she likes it. That is how I lost my Marlin Camp Et Al.

“The key is to hit them hard, hit them fast, and hit them repeatedly. The one shot stop is a unit of measurement not a tactical philosophy.” Evan Marshall
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ASCTLC
Senior Member

638 Posts

Posted - July 31 2011 :  8:25:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Spent an isolated week up in the mountains camping with my wife and brought the .22, 9 mms, and the .357 mag. After a while she just wanted in on the fun and asked to shoot the .22 (Ruger MK III) and was having a grand time. Was only her second time shooting a pistol. I made no mention of the 9 mms and left them holsetered and tabled to let her shoot as long as she was having fun and into it. I give her a few pointers directed at trigger control at the expense of accuracy for the time being but in no time she was quite accurate at 7 yds with 10 out of 10 in the half dollar sized bull.

Pulling the target in to 5 yds to demonstrate how only a couple yds makes a bit of a difference with a hand gun her enthusiasm rose. In pure red-necked fahion she saw a tiny bug land on the target...third shot and down it went.

She wanted to shoot the 9 mms eventually and liked the Taurus 24/7 Pro grip a lot better than the G19. Man...for being new to pistols she did very well. She had a few flinches and my way to show her it was happening (tricked with empty chamber, safety on, etc...). She learned quick.

In the end, I was just happy to stand there and load magazines for her (she got her share too to know how to do it).

Andy
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Ace
Advanced Member

USA
5049 Posts

Posted - August 01 2011 :  12:32:47 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Christmas is coming...... Ace

Give me $1 every time a Liberal lies, I'll give you $5 every time one tells the truth; I'll end up a wealthy man, you'll end up broke.
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CamilleEonich
Starting Member

2 Posts

Posted - August 31 2011 :  6:20:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have a dear friend that is a widow but has just started dating again. I met her through her husband and we have all shot together competitively. She's having some of the same problems with meeting men believe it or not. When she says she shoots, reloads her own ammo and cleans her own guns the guys just aren't happy campers.

BTW this lady is in her 60s. I LOVE it!

Oh and another BTW, she recently met a guy that didn't have a problem with her shooting. Now she's has him interested and is working on getting him his own gear and a press to reload on.
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Evan
Administrator

34116 Posts

Posted - August 31 2011 :  6:33:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Camille-Welcome Aboard!

"The greatest thing a Father can do for his children is to love their Mother."

Harold B. Lee

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